


build a wall of books between us

by torigates



Category: Primeval
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-04
Updated: 2013-11-04
Packaged: 2017-12-31 12:16:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1031618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torigates/pseuds/torigates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Why don’t you come back to the flat, yeah?” she asked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	build a wall of books between us

Abby got Becker to arrange a ride back to the flat for Jack before they headed back to the ARC. He didn’t look happy about it, but he did it anyway.

“Thank you,” she told him.

He just grunted and called over one of his soldiers. It was almost friendly, for Becker.

They were all quiet on the ride back. Danny kept touching his neck and hissing in pain. Finally Sara swatted his hand away when he went to do it again. It was a relief for Abby, she wanted to do it herself, but she felt like she owed Danny.

And Connor—well, Connor wouldn’t look at her, but he had a grin on his face like he just couldn’t help himself. Danny kept stealing looks at the two of them, which Abby was purposefully ignoring. Connor didn’t notice.

Lester yelled at them for a long time when they got back, and Abby most of all. She bit her tongue, and didn’t say, _It’s done now, he’s gone_ , because Becker almost died, _could have_ died, and maybe she felt like she deserved it, a little bit.

When he finally let them go, Lester barked, “Not you, Quinn,” and Abby saw Connor’s shoulders slump. He still wouldn’t look at her.

“Ready?” she asked.

Connor looked uncomfortable. “Oh,” he looked down and stammered a little. “I have to wait for Lester,” he gestured back to where Lester and Danny were talking. “It’s probably going to be a while.”

He looked down, avoiding her gaze, and suddenly Abby just _missed_ him. She missed him, and he hadn’t gone anywhere, not really. Things had been weird since Jack came around, and maybe even earlier, but Abby hadn’t ever taken the time to think about it.

“Why don’t you come back to the flat, yeah?” she asked.

Connor looked up at her cautiously. “R-really?” he asked.

He looked so earnest and unsure, it made Abby’s heart ache. “Have a shower, at least,” she said. “Lester should be done by then.”

His face fell, but he recovered quickly. Abby wasn’t sure why she was punishing him, but she couldn’t seem to stop pushing him away. “Yeah,” he said. “A shower would be great.”

They were silent in the car, Abby alternately stealing glances at Connor and keeping her eyes on the road. Connor’s head was pressed against the passenger side window, either ignoring or not noticing her looks. Abby guessed the latter; Connor was never any good with people noticing him.

That was something Abby had gotten all too good at; not noticing Connor.

Connor’s shoulders deflated when they walked through the door to the flat, as if he’d been holding his breath the entire time, though he hovered in the doorway like he wasn’t sure what to do now that he was actually standing there in their flat. Even when he’d first moved in, Connor had never been shy about making her space his own.

The flat looked emptier, and it took Abby a minute to realise that all of Jack’s things were already gone. It shouldn’t have surprised her, but it did, a little bit. He breezed in and out of town without much warning—that was the way Jack had always been.

“I’m just going to take a shower, yeah?” Abby said to distract her from what wasn’t there.

Connor nodded without really looking at her.

The water beat down hot against her skin, and Abby felt some of the day’s tension wash away with dirt and sweat and tears.

It was good that Jack was gone. Living with Abby _was_ dangerous, and if Jack hadn’t been around, none of what happened today would have happened.

But they were all okay, and that was what really mattered.

Abby forced herself out of her reverie. She had promised Connor a shower, and it would be cruel to use up all the hot water before he got a chance to wash.

She turned the water off, and listened for any sounds. It was quiet, as far as Abby could tell. She quickly dried off, wrapped the towel around her, and opened the door. Steam followed her out, and the brisk air from the rest of the flat hit her damp skin. She felt a shiver run up her spine. “Shower’s free!” she called.

There was no answer.

“Conn? Connor?” Abby walked out into the main room.

Connor was still hovering by the door, staring off into the distance. He looked up when she walked into the room. “Shower’s free,” Abby said.

He nodded once, and wandered off.

Abby stared at the empty doorway for several minutes after he had disappeared through it. She had put Connor through so much. Accused him of so much, and yet she didn’t seem able to stop. She had created this distance between them, and now she wasn’t sure how to close it.

A few more moments passed before Abby shook herself, and walked off to her bedroom to change. She hadn’t noticed how chilly she’d become standing in only her towel. She pulled on some clean pyjamas, and took a moment to relish the feel of the soft, warm fabric against her skin.

Out in the hallway, she heard the shower turn off. She walked down the hall toward the kitchen, and heard Connor fumbling around in the bathroom, and remembered that he had left some of his clothes when he moved into Lester’s flat. She had moved them into the hall closet. She pulled out a t-shirt and cotton pants, and placed them outside the bathroom door. It was the least she could do.

Abby walked to the kitchen, and started aimlessly looking through her cupboards for something to eat. She heard the bathroom door open, and the sound of Connor’s footsteps shuffling down the hallway. A moment later he appeared.

When she looked up he was leaning against the doorframe, his hair wet from the shower and sticking in all directions. He looked tired and older than he should. Abby felt like she probably looked the same way.

“Fancy some eggs?” she tried for a smile.

Connor nodded. He looked down at his hands, which were bare for once. He wasn’t wearing his usual gloves, or multiple layers. Just the t-shirt and pants she had put out for him. It seemed more intimate somehow. Even when they had been flatmates, he almost always wore those gloves.

She nodded. “Alright, be out in a sec!” She tried for cheery, but it came out forced and strained instead. Connor looked at her for a moment longer and then turned and walked out of the kitchen. She sighed and slumped against the counter. This shouldn’t be so hard. But it was, and it was her fault.

As she cracked the eggs into the pan, Abby though about what Connor had said. _I didn’t want you to be hurt._ That was just like Conn, to take care of her, to _try_ to take care of her, no matter what the cost to himself. Sometimes Abby wondered how someone who knew so much could know so little.

She scooped the eggs onto plates and went to join Connor in the other room. He was asleep on the couch, one leg hanging off the edge, arms sprawled to the sides. His shirt had ridden up, and Abby could see the expanse of his stomach and a patch of hair over his navel, down to his hips. It made her chest tighten, and she let herself think about kissing Connor. She had kissed Connor.

She put the plates down on the table, and sat down next to him. She missed him. She missed Connor, but she didn’t know how to make it better.

Instead she put her hand on his wrist.

Connor’s eyes fluttered open.

“Hey,” she said, leaned down, and kissed him.

She felt his muscles clench and heard his intake of breath. “Abby?”

She smiled down at him and kissed him again. Her hand was still curled around his wrist. His other hand hovered around her elbow, before coming to rest on the back of her neck. It was warm, and solid, and heavy. Abby felt like its presence was weighing her down, keeping her from floating out of her body. She kissed him deeper, and placed her hands flat on his stomach, feeling the muscles there fluttering under her touch. His hand flexed at her waist, and Abby wanted to be close, closer.

She swung her leg over, straddling his hips. Connor groaned into her mouth, and arched up his whole body. Both his hands were running along her back, but it wasn’t enough. Abby smiled against his mouth, and groped for the hem of his t-shirt. She found it, and tugged frantically at the edge, forcing Connor to sit up, so she could remove the garment.

They sat staring at each other; Connor’s breathing fast and heavy, Abby sitting in his lap.

“Abby,” he breathed, searching her face. She didn’t know what he would find there.

“I want this,” she whispered. “I want you, Connor.” She grabbed the bottom of her top, and quickly pulled it over her head, leaving the two of them equally naked.

Connor’s eyes dropped to her breasts, and he groaned her name again. “You can touch me,” she said. His eyes flickered up to meet hers. Abby smiled and nodded. He drew in a shaky breath, and ran his hands up her torso, before settling them on her breasts. For a second she wondered what it would feel like if he touched her with those gloves of his, but before that thought could get far, he leaned in and kissed her neck. She threw back her head, and moaned, her hands gripping the short hairs at the base of his skull.

She leaned back, pulling Connor over her body, his hands still stroking her breasts and stomach. Abby trailed her hands over his back, and tucked her fingers under the elastic of his pants when she hit fabric. Connor moaned again, and pressed his body tightly against hers. She could feel his erection, and she wanted him. She wanted him so badly.

She dug her fingers into his skin, pressing him closer to her. “Connor,” she said, and began pushing down his pants. He quickly reciprocated.

Abby wanted to touch him everywhere with her hands and mouth. She wanted him to touch her, kiss her. She bit his lip, and grabbed his cock. His hips jerked forward into her hand. “Have you ever—?”

Connor looked at her and shook his head.

“I’m on the pill.”

He nodded but didn’t move.

She wrapped her arm around his neck, pulling him in for another kiss, her other hand stroking his erection a few times, before guiding him into her. He pushed all the way into her, fast. She wasn’t quite ready, and it hurt, a little. He jerked his hips, and it felt so good. She bent her other arm around his back, and kissed the side of his neck. Connor moaned again, deep in his throat, and Abby thought it was probably the sexiest thing she had ever heard.

“Connor,” she gasped. “Oh god, oh god.”

“I love you, Abby,” he choked out.

She bit his shoulder, and felt him come inside her.

They lay still for a long moment, Abby stroking his back. Finally Connor pulled out of her, and she gasped, catching his hand as he sat back on his heels. She guided his hand to her, his fingers stroking her sensitive skin. She cried out when he put two fingers inside her, his thumb stroking her clit. He was clumsy and pressed too hard, and it felt so good. She felt her orgasm hit her quickly, and she grabbed Connor’s wrist, holding his hand in place.

When it was done, she pulled him to her, and Connor spread a blanket over them. Abby didn’t want to move, and she didn’t want to think. She just wanted to lie on the couch. With Connor.

The next thing she knew, grey streaks of light were coming in through the window. She could hear Connor’s steady breathing behind her, and for a moment she thought about what it would be like to have him around the flat again. Permanently. With her. She smiled.

Her eyes landed on a shirt on the floor. It was one of Jack’s, forgotten in his rush to move out. Abby had nearly lost him. She had nearly lost her only family, because she had been careless. And what if she was careless with Connor? What if she lost him too?

She sat up, and pulled on her knickers and top. “Connor,” she said, shaking his shoulder a little. “Wake up.”

He mumbled and pushed his face into the cushion, away from her. She shook him harder. “Wake up.”

“What’s wrong?” he asked sleepily.

“It’s morning.”

He opened his eyes, and looked around. “No it’s not,” he mumbled. “It’s still dark out.”

“I think you should head back to Lester’s.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Abby wondered why she said them.

Connor sat up. “What?” he asked, suddenly more awake.

She looked away, arms crossed against her chest.

“Right,” he said. “Yeah. Back to Lester’s. Okay.”

She could hear the hurt and confusion in his voice, and she wanted to say something to make it right. To take it back, and ask him to come back to bed with her, but the memory of the day before, their trip through the anomaly stopped her.

“I’ll see you later,” she said once he had gathered his things.

Connor just looked at her, like he always did. Like she was going to make everything better. The thing was Abby didn’t know how to make it better. She wanted to, but she couldn’t. She was scared.

After the door closed on his back Abby climbed into bed, exhausted. Rex chirped quietly. “I know, Rex,” she whispered. “We’ll go over there tomorrow. Make it right.”

He chirped again and curled up at her side, and fell asleep. Abby lay awake, watching the room get lighter. Tomorrow she’d make it right. She would. 


End file.
